Track 9: "Lille"

Podcast

Oct 20

Written By Sycamore Consulting, LLC

Welcome to I Owe You an Explication, I’m your host, Sean Della Croce and today we’re discussing the song "Lille".

Stream Illuminations here: https://ffm.to/qqk1jjd

Cover Image by Alex Crawford

All songs written and recorded by Sean Della Croce

Produced by Alan Deremo

What this Song is About

For years I lived in a neighborhood called Belmont Hillsboro here in Nashville. It's nestled between two college campuses and the whole area is a maze of historic buildings—it used to be home to a brewery, a used bookstore, and an iconic music shop. A lot has changed since then, but there is a still a historic movie theater that stands right in the center of Hillsboro Village. It's called The Belcourt, and if you know Nashville, you know this charmed arthouse cinema. Perhaps there's one in your town. It's my favorite place to go see a matine by myself in the middle of the week. And it was after one such movie, on a crisp winter night that I wrote "Lille."

If I'm honest, I don't really know how to approach this song's origin story. Of course "Lille" can stand on its own and its meaning is really specific to the listener. But from a songwriting perspective, I'll be transparent about my inspiration. In 2013 I saw the now iconic, rightly controversial French film Blue is the Warmest Color and it had such an effect on me that I sat down and wrote "Lille" the next day. Lille is the French city in which the movie takes place. That's my cryptic nod to the song's origins, and I really think of the song as my interpretation of the internal monologue of the film's main character, Adele. In hindsight I can see more clearly all of the ways in which Blue is the Warmest Color misses the mark, from the testimony of the actresses themselves, to the very important rebuff from the author of the graphic novel on which the film was based. But at the time that the movie was released, pre-marriage equality, when lesbian representation was almost non-existent, the story gripped me, and I couldn't get enough. To me, it was a deeply true, unflinching depiction of how the wave of love rises and crashes. I think that can still be true. If you haven't seen the film, it's definitely worth exploring for yourself.

The Lyrical Crux

The real crux of this song, which is lyrically very sparse, comes during the chorus. In the writing process "Lille" emerged as an ode to the natural separation that occurs before a relationship ends. The moment when it's over before it's over. So the line "Do you see me when I speak to you?" is really a desperate plea from one party to another. Please don't let me go, please don't lose me. And it concludes in that statement "If all is lost, give me proof." Just say it, stop loving me, just close the chapter, because its torture living in ambiguity.

Music Notes

To my ear, this song really stands out on the record. And that is thanks to the beautiful guitar performance from Peter Sprague who plays a classical nylon string. The song also differs from the others in that it doesn't conform to the usual time signature. "Lille" is sort of a waltz and I think that lets the lyric breathe in some really important ways. It can be a tough song to play, and even more difficult to sing, but from a performance perspective, I love that because you can't phone it in. Every time I play this song I am acutely aware that I am spending time with "Lille," and there is a very gratifying mindfulness in that. It's never impulsive, it can't be rote.

Closing Reflections

When I really think about it, "Lille" emerged from longing and by the end that resolves into closeness. Not necessarily a closeness that denotes possession, but a closeness to reality, to the truth of things. The narrator walks a path of discovery over the course of the song asking questions of her beloved along the way. They remain unanswered, but in that silence lies the reply. If you have to ask, "do you see me?" you already know the answer.